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1 .This is Scientific American 60-Second Mind, I'm Christie Nicholson.Got a minute?
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2 ."I'm sorry."
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3 .Those two little words can help patch things up after a fight with your significant other.
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4 .But what your partner may prefer is for you to give up some power.
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5 .So finds a study in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.
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6 .Researchers looking through the literature say that all couples' arguments boiled down to one of two issues:
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7 .Perceived threat, where one person thinks their status is threatened by a critical partner,
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8 .or perceived neglect, where one person feels their partner is either disloyal or inattentive.
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9 .For this latest study, researchers asked more than 400 married couples to list how they' d want to resolve a conflict.
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10 .And the most desired resolution involved a relinquishing of power,
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11 .either as a compromise, an admission of fault, a show of respect, or conceding more independence to the other partner.
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12 .Other desired conflict resolutions included: investing in the relationship;
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13 .halting adversarial behavior; more communication; more affection; and only last, was apologizing.
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14 .Of course, the underlying complaint can determine the correct response.
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15 .Flowers might be a good response to feelings of "perceived neglect."
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16 .But if the problem is "perceived threat," well, roses might be construed as a delivery system for thorns.
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17 .Thanks for the minute, for Scientific American 60-Second Mind. I'm Christie Nicholson.
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